Random K.

I am such an easy target. 

Bukas, luluhod ang mga tala. Kala niyo diyan.

Random K.

I believe I have a direct line to God.  I was having a really bad day yesterday and that unmistakable urge to heed His call came over me.  I knew that I needed help with my burden (unknown as of this writing) so I heard the 6:00 PM mass at the Santuario de San Antonio (which was a few minutes away from the office).  During Homily, the priest said that our daily existence is a miracle.  I remembered that I have a purpose in life far beyond what I can imagine.  I stopped screaming in my head and threw my mental baggage out the window.  Tomorrow will be a better day.

Lugi, lumalapit lang ako sa Kanya kapag may kailangan, kapag naloloka, kapag may masakit. Minsan, nakakalimutan ko pa magpasalamat. Tsk.

LSS: Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

La da da da
La da da da
La da da da da da da da da

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

 

Happy 59th, Honey. It's been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. 

The Perfect Fit

I still believe that women rule because we can go about our day on our tippy toes with our heels 4 inches off the ground.  But ladies, those poor, ultra-chic, patent pumps do not deserve to be drenched in acid rain. That's precisely the reason why I have resurrected my addiction with flats.  My feet are unusually small for my built (I am a size 6 or 6.5) and in this country, I have the same shoe size as two-thirds of the female population (I am terrible at math, this shameless estimate may be insignificant) and finding flats can be super stressful.  So whenever I find the perfect fit, there's no turning back.

I got my 3rd pair of Comfit shoes at the Newport Mall (Resorts World Manila) branch of Michael Antonio. This particular pair caught my attention because: 1) my feet looked adorable in it and 2) I didn't own a pair of blue shoes yet.  Now, I find myself automatically pulling them out of the shoe closet for an action-packed rainy day.  Problemadong Pusa, this pair has found its true calling so I am no longer guilty of impulsive buying (Hah!).  For under a thousand pesos, I get to strut and trip all over the place (I was born a klutz, thank you very much) while dancing in the rain.  I have yet to do my research on this brand, but it was love at first sight. 

After just a few days of abuse

I never thought I could say this much about a pair of shoes.  Pardon my superficiality. On second thought, we can all just pretend that I am doing a public service announcement.  Someone out there (in another world or dimension) may find this post useful.

Mother Nature is finally striking back.  When in doubt, please do not wear stilettos.

Marry Me, Jonas

No, I am not proposing my undying devotion to any of the Jonas brothers. I am, in fact, talking about Jonas, my favorite beef pares place in town. How can you not love a humble "fastfood restaurant with a conscience" (it says so in their tagline) anyway?

For weeks now, I have been craving (to the brink of sanity) for some good old beef pares (and chorizo rice and siomai and lumpia) from Jonas.  So last Friday, my teamates and I braved typhoon Falcon and trooped on over to Robinsons Place Pioneer.  I have no intention of turning this post into a food blog, so I will just let these photos speak for themselves.

Before the storm...

After the storm...(I think this was taken less than 30 minutes into the meal)

Jonas, I shall return (maybe even sooner than you think).  *Drool*

Random K.

It's a bed-weather Friday. Sucks to be at work today. Argh.

Jonas, you made my day. *burp*

Session Road, Wet Jeans, and Jumping Rope

It’s raining cats and dogs today. I think I saw circus elephants and great white sharks along the road also. Driving along C-5 with all the crazy drivers of Metro Manila was definitely not a breeze. Session Road’s "Sana Naman" was playing over and over to keep me company. I never realized that singing at the top of my lungs while squinting at hazard lights blinking ahead of me was this therapeutic.

At the parking lot, I spent 20 minutes contemplating whether to brave the storm and run to the office. The sky was dark and the wind was a low and eerie whistle. The rain stopped (or so I thought). I felt that the universe was taunting me to dare step out of my car and so I did. I think you can guess what happened next (of course, I will still tell you but congratulate yourself if you indeed got it right). Rain (or should I say, torrential rain) fell. I was sloshing all over the place and finally reached my destination with soaked jeans and muddy shoes. I thought twice about standing in my underwear in the ladies’ restroom to dry my jeans but fortunately decided against it (the horror!). In the end, I am thankful for the concept of air-drying.

I am getting old – I could barely jump rope five times. My super modeling future is looking bleak.

Random K.

I have yet to meet a man who can win an "Am I fat?" argument with a woman who thinks she is fat.

I am woman, hear me roar. Or in this case, oink.

How To Be Alone

A video by fiilmaker, Andrea Dorfman, and poet/singer/songwriter, Tanya Davis.

Dance like no one's watching...because, they're probably not.

Random K.

Ok, I am recently battling with a digestion problem.  I've been chugging down milk and chocolate drinks as substitute for normal people food.  Hope they come in sisig flavor.  Extra rice, please!

Fear not, Tanduay Ice!  We shall meet again! - My Liver

LSS: Collide by Howie Day

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

Untitled

Timely.  Indulge in one of my ancient compositions.

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One must learn to look beyond the smile

Painted across my face

For the unspoken truth

Is much too loud to ignore

And never more shall I trust

This false sense of security

For I cannot purposely

Violate my own virtue

The urgency

To preserve my sanity

Supersedes my need

To sustain my existence

And so across the horizon

Lies that inevitable fork in the road

Watching every attempt I make

To take a step closer

Towards drafting my resignation letter.

3/11/2010 04:04:59 AM

Time Difference

Hoping that airplanes in the night sky are shooting stars.  Indulge in one of my ancient compositions.

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I start writing
Believing
That perhaps this is the remedy
For a fervent, constant yearning
Thoughts racing
I grasp aimlessly
Attempting to find an explanation
For this madness
Then I realize
Our paths cannot cross
Not in this world at least
For you walk the planet
Unaware of my existence
While I am deep in slumber.

8/26/2009 02:45:28 AM

The Breakup

Everybody needs their daily dose of cheese.  Indulge in one of my ancient compositions.

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I stare

As you talk

Not in awe

But simply at a loss for words

I weep

As you confess

Not for the sudden emptiness

But because I forget to blink

I bleed

As you leave

Not for anger, nor remorse

But because I run after you – barefoot.

8/26/2009 12:30:39 AM

Unsolicited Advice at 3:34 A.M. [Inspired by Problemadong Pusa]

I have been spending the past couple of weeks contemplating on my career.  I am just a normal twenty-something (Yes, late-twenty-something-come-December-so-please-do-not-rub-it-in) woman who, fresh from college, walked under the blistering heat of the sun along Ayala Avenue to look for a job.  I was an average student, so not one hotshot multi-billion company has invited me for a job interview.  In my Curriculum Vitae (sounds smarter this way), I could only brag about being a “fast learner”; my “attention to detail”; and, having “excellent oral and written communication skills” a few spaces below my educational attainment.  To put everything in perspective, I had to mentally liquid-erase my dream of becoming a millionaire by the age of 30. 

Then by some stroke of luck (OK, maybe I really am smart but that’s not my point), I finally got my anti-dream job.  I get to spend 9 to 16 hours in an office building, in front of a computer, programming.  Yes, you read it right. I (well, was and probably still) am a programmer.  People who knew me from school would never have thought of seeing me end up in the I.T. industry.  My friends from elementary would have expected me to become a teacher or a nun (I came from an exclusive Catholic school for girls – it’s natural to emulate or want to emulate your school principal).  In high school, I was into various forms of media and a bit of stage acting so I could have easily been labeled as a future backstage crew member or creative writer or small-time newscaster covering highway disturbances at 4:00 in the morning (I would like to think that I am a versatile young woman, thank you).  Then, the parallel universe sucked me into its wicked vortex.  I took up BS Information Technology in college and the rest was history.

Fast forward to 2011, and I could easily write down “6 years” beside that sickening bullet point asking the question, “How long have you been with <insert name of company here>?”.  There are days when the first thing that comes to mind after being rudely awakened by my alarm clock is “So, what illness should I fake today?”.  Seriously, I should start filing the various forms of excuses I conjure up just to skip work. But, somehow I was able to get by (in most days, it must be said that “getting by” is synonymous to “almost dying").  I’m not a model employee and I am definitely not a superstar.  In fact, if I were to write an autobiography, it would start with the words, “If I could do it all over again…”. I think by this time I have effectively established my point so you have the freedom to complete this sentence. 

Please do not get me wrong, I am not unhappy.  In fact, I feel warm and fuzzy inside.  It’s like that comforting feeling you get when wiping your plate clean with semi-hot pandesal after finishing your instant pancit canton.  I am grateful for the fact that even if this is not the “future I dreamed of when I was watching Batibot”, I am still here, alive and kicking.  My mom constantly tells me that I surprise her.  She is under the impression that I am not taking my job seriously because of my erratic work schedules and my nonchalant reaction to the global recession.  I have this strong hunch though, that she thinks that way because there was a point in my life when I was complaining daily to her about how I hated myself for not taking up Communication Arts in college.  Or it may be because of the fact that I barely passed 3 units of Database Programming. Yet, (pardon my bragging) I have consistently been reaping the rewards of career progression (a.k.a. promotion).  What is the secret, you dare ask?  The age-old answer is (and this may possibly disappoint you), I don’t know for sure.  But I have a few theories which you can piece together and play psychologist/diagnostician/lawyer on:

1)     I can play the part.  No, I do not have bipolar disorder.  I am not gifted with sheer genius, so I make up for it by being the person that my team wants me to be (Cheesy. I know, right?).  That line in my CV that says “fast learner” proves to have its perks in this line of work. 

2)     I accept all forms of challenges. It is in my nature to look for ways to amuse myself because I get bored rather easily.  I work best under pressure and where I am right now, everyone eats pressure for breakfast.  I like watching my cool, calm and collected self in the middle of a raging storm (or trapped inside an elevator) while everyone else is flailing their arms wildly in the air. 

3)     I choose my battles. I used to think I can do everything -- that the world will end when I stop working (or thinking about work).  That eventually took a toll on my health, relationships and general mental state.  I have learned to qualify things that deserve my attention (at that point in time).  This way, I conserve my energy and I could go on full Gabriela Silang mode as necessary.

4)     I embrace reality. Being a resident of planet Earth for more than twenty years, I have learned (and I am sure you have also) that there are good days, and there are bad days. When I was in gradeschool, I used to hate it when mid-essay, I hear the dreaded "Finished or not finished, pass your paper."  I studied all night, I was sure I'd ace the test then lo and behold, I couldn't write my answers down fast enough (insert mental curses here). I can hope and dream and wish for a smooth-sailing monthend release. But it won't happen. That's why we get to live another day and try harder.

5)     I laugh at myself.  I commit mistakes, my team commits mistakes, (some span halfway across the globe) I learn from it and laugh (appropriately) at how easily I could have avoided it.  I believe that people who take their jobs seriously are the ones who can remain productive after being scolded by their boss.  I swear by keeping happy thoughts and keeping a positive attitude (helps with preventing wrinkles and other signs of ageing too, so there’s nothing to lose here really). 

Now, I wouldn’t mind if you trust the better judgement of your Magic 8-Ball over my words of wisdom.  I’ve seen it in action and its compelling arguments bring chills to my superior vena cava.  In the end, (if I may quote my Ninja friend) I may be wrong.  But then again, this is just my feeble attempt at inching closer to world peace.